Faces Or Mirrors?

I was leading music for a women's Emmaus weekend (a three-day adventure to bring you closer to Christ) when a marvelous thing happened: not a single solitary soul was looking at me. Each woman was caught up in worship to the Lord and I as the worship leader had faded completely into the background. It was so humbling to realize God had used my voice and guitar to draw the women to Him, and I felt a new kind of satisfaction.

I didn't always like being in the background, in fact, for most of my life I liked standing out a bit and being noticed. When I was in a room with women in particular, I felt a need to be affirmed, and learned to do things that would garner compliments from others. I became a people pleaser.

I discovered I constantly needed feedback to know how I was doing. Each person became a mirror in which I could see myself, like walking past a department store window display. I was so busy looking at my reflection that I never noticed the beautiful display inside. By treating others as simply mirrors where I could see my own reflection, I never saw their faces. And by not seeing their faces, I could never look into their eyes to see their real needs and who they were. My insecurity and need for affirmation was actually blinding me.

These days as I get my affirmation from God, I no longer am so desperate for approval from others. That means that the mirrors can disappear and I can finally see others clearly. And that is how it should be.